Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
