It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
