I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
