Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
