I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
