Sry I called you an 8
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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