question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
