yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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