I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
