The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
