she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
