I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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