her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
