He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He had one of those small greek statue penises
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
