thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
