thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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