That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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