just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
