Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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