He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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