Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
