Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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