like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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