i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
