Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
