Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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