for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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