When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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