I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Randomize
