after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
