you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
don't judge my taste in strippers
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
