we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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