All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
