For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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