i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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