He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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