she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Still dying that you shit outside
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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