So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
