Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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