i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
