He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
