I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Found your dick twin last night
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
