Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
