the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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