I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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