So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
These tits shall not be calmed
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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