Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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