Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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