Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
