Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
